I was still bitching to myself when I plopped down on the couch in my office for a well deserved cat nap.I woke up forty-five minutes later as the big Westminster Clock in my office gonged out the five-thirty half hour. I was still wondering about being banished from my apartment as I changed clothes. I think that Belle’s ability to keep me off balance was one of the things I loved most about her. With Belle, nothing was predictable, so there were seldom any dull moments in my life with her.At five-forty-five, I exited my office and walked over to the desk at the foot of the stairs. Ray was in another morning coat with epaulets, this one was dark blue. Since I’d dressed myself, my tie was slightly askew, so we couldn’t discuss business until he had straightened it and fixed the knot. When he was through fussing with my tie, Ray told me that fifty-two club members were already upstairs. That was the kind of information I liked, because the more time members spent here, the more money. The slick, cool feeling as my hand brushes against it…the canvas is turquoise. It loves to look down at me, almost as if asking if I can remember the sky. I often wonder if I do remember the sky. I can’t help but feel like the sky was something that existed before this world. It was something to be enjoyed, like the warm waves of summertime sun, running through the dew-stained grass, laughing to yourself and looking left and right and back and forth. And up. The turquoise canvas is the closest thing I know that looks like blue skies. It’s soft, almost reflexive it its kindness. Blue skies mean no harm, they are protectors. I almost not dare to think reach back into my memories, because with blue skies comes Sawyer, and… Sawyer. I promised myself that Sawyer would stay gone. He’s the reason I’m trapped in this fucking tent, staring up at a turquoise canvas that pretends to be the blue skies from my memories. He’s the reason I’m alone inside this barrier. The others don’t like that I.
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